When there is darkness

Psalm 138:8

-The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;

Your love, O LORD, endures forever –

Do not abandon the works of your hands –

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Posted by on January 19, 2019 in Uncategorized


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John 3:19–21

19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.

20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.
21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

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Posted by on January 17, 2019 in Uncategorized


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Equal to God

Philippians 2:5-11

The Mind of Christ
(Isaiah 52:13-15)

5Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus:

6Who, existing in the form of God,

did not consider equality with God

something to be grasped,

7but emptied Himself,

taking the form of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

8And being found in appearance as a man,

He humbled Himself

and became obedient to death—

even death on a cross.

9Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place

and gave Him the name above all names,

10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

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Posted by on January 15, 2019 in Uncategorized


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Psalm 91:12

-they will lift you up in their hands,

So that you will not strike your toe against a stone-

Ever felt like you’ve been saved from punishment you knew you deserved?

You’ve done something wrong, and yet you’ve been spared?

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Posted by on January 14, 2019 in Uncategorized


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The full breadth of God

Psalm 90:2

-Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the Earth and the world,

From everlasting to everlasting you are God-

I read this again slowly. The full measure of Time. God is all there was and all that will be.

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Posted by on January 13, 2019 in Uncategorized


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My friends are richer than I

Psalms 73:2-3

-But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;

I had nearly lost my foothold.

For I envied the arrogant

When I saw the posterity of the wicked.-

Envy can be a painful and destructive emotion.

I am thankful for what I have – I don’t need more.

But their house is nicer. Their car is bigger.

I can learn to be happy for those who have more – can’t I?

I am still important… aren’t I?

Imagine all the people around you profitting from corruption – that doesn’t really hurt anyone – but you stay pure and poor.

Imagine the sting of being treated unfairly by the courts because the person you have sued is richer than you.

Imagine feeling helpless whilst the rich man beside you is served first.

Sometimes I ask God – but what about the rest! What about me!

We live like this is the only heaven we know.

This is not heaven. It is not the only place I shall live.

And when ten years looks long, twenty, fifty – I shall hold on – God give me strength – I shall hold onto the thought that being right…doing right…standing right will count for me at death.

Of course, I don’t want to live as though this world was just a trial to love through with no joy at all, or to take away the heard work that others have made in earning what they spend.

But I want to know that doing the right thing counts for something.

I want to die well.

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Posted by on January 10, 2019 in Uncategorized


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You know the way to the place where I am going.

Pslams 68:24-25

-Your procession has come into view, O God,

The procession of my God and King into the sanctuary.

In front are the singers, after

Them the musicians;

With them are the maidens

Playing tambourines.-

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Posted by on January 9, 2019 in Uncategorized


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The Sinner

Psalm 36: 1 – 2

-“…there is no fear of God before his eyes.

For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin.”-

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Posted by on January 7, 2019 in Uncategorized


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-Psalms 30:6-7-

“When I felt secure, I said,

I will never be shaken.”

O LORD, when you favored me,

You made my mountain stand firm;

But when you hid your face,

I was dismayed.”

I spent 2018 in a stupor.

I stopped drinking in February – I didn’t think I drank too much but I’m fifty and it’s been thirty years and… I’m an alcoholic.

I have been through a very long withdrawal.

It would not have been possible without God by my side.

It has changed everything. I could not pray – my head would not concentrate. All I could do was fall back on habit… meditation.

I’ve been a Christian all my life and I’m so grateful for the meditation I picked up – even though I could not feel myself in prayer, I could sit in silence and let God work.

At the most difficult points in my life, God has always shown up.

Physically. In my life. Healed it financially, spiritually…always.

Always going into it I have been on my very last legs. No more. I can’t take it. I want to die.

On healing, it’s the same astonishment. On the next Hill, the same despair.

This act of Faith and Belief is more difficult as I grow and become more aware of the sorrows of this world.

People at war anywhere, everywhere; Palestinians and the Rihingya… Women killed by husbands… Poverty moving migrants… The most random violence…the extreme disruption of lives. Christian Fundamentalists.

What happens when God doesn’t show up? Physically?

Could I go on if my very material life was not protected and charmed by knowing God?

How often is my prayer for the relief of pain?

What is ‘… Seek ye first…’?

How does it work?

I am safe and secure and comfortable and please God, I’d like to keep it that way.

I pray.

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Posted by on January 4, 2019 in Uncategorized


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No one knows where the Spirit comes from and where it is going

John 3:8

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.


I have often wondered where I came from.

I have no children. I am fifty.

I wonder when I peer back – to see where I come from – back through my mother and father, back through their mothers and fathers, back, back, so many times and yet – I am still there, some piece of me, connected to me here, back to the first man and the first woman – if I am wrong not to have a child.

I am African. I am my parents only son. I have sisters but none of us have children.

Does the line stop here?

I look forward, through time…am I there? Have I cut my father off? My mother?

I am homosexual. Shall I leave a piece of me at the hospital with a note and some money and ask when I die, that they put it into a woman who can bear me a child?

Shall I look for her before I die and become friends?

Or – have I been here before…a spirit in flesh, who does not know where he has come from, or where he is going….but has been here many times before and will come again…and again…

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Posted by on January 2, 2019 in Uncategorized


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