Ya. I’m bored. Title says it all.
I’m bored and frustrated and tired.
I’m eating chocolate. It happens.
So I’m going to meander a little bit, before I get to the point, if there is a point to get to.
I am flat out of poetic juice. It’s only day 26. I wonder…if I trick myself into thinking that I’ve just BEGUN the postaday challenge, will that help?
I am face to face with the expectation I had of myself, of the challenge, and its actual outlook. Really, I’ve mined all the depths I know, so I have to go where I DON’T know, and I haven’t the foggiest how to get there.
Shall I start a ‘personal’ category? Because this is personal writing. So. Three seperate items to keep abreast of? I don’t think so. I’m going through blogs and thinking, how are these people doing it? Perhaps I’m too new at this? I had NO idea, just how difficult it was going to get.
Now I’ve come across a few threads that are of the opinion that when you get there, re-access yourself and start to write WHEN you feel like you have something to say.
OK, makes sense. Less stress, one more worry to get rid of.
However. I DON’T WANT ONE THING LESS TO WORRY ABOUT! I want to write everyday! I just can’t!
Right then. I’m gonna write this way, and continue to do so until, Easter, bugger what comes out, the exercise is mine, and I can’t wait to get to the end of it, which may be the problem to begin with.
Rather than expect an END to it, maybe just put my head down and carry on, you know, like when you’ve got to walk a long distance, focus on the pavement, your breathing, the rhythm of steps you’re making.
I thought it was going to be about looking around and noticing all the people around you, and the scenary, and the smells, but it’s not like that at all. It’s this wretched insular UGH!
I am secretly hoping that this post makes me smile in December.
Boy am I glad I started two blogs because this wouldn’t do in Poetry.
You lot will just have to lump it.
Boarding. (to hell with the Desert Island, I wouldn’t make it five minutes)
Got my shirts, got my pants, got my CD.
It has to be Suzanne Vega – Marlene on the Wall I think is the title.
I could have gone with Bob Marley to keep my soul intact, or Paul Simon to remind me of Africa (ya, I know…stranger things have happened), or Tracey Chapman to battle the loneliness with, but no, it’s got to be Suzzanne Vega.
What is it about her and her music?
Her sound constantly brings me back to myself, shows me how much more I have to learn, teaches me that if I can learn to love myself, I can be in love with others.
That actually, the ONLY way to love, to forgive, to share, to understand, is to get myself as an entity, a human being that is not the things I define myself as. Is this making sense? To define myself as soul.
I’ve become soooo cynical of this kinda thinking I just swallowed a chunk of chocolate without chewing! Humph. A Soul indeed. And what exactely is that?!
Yet that’s what Suzzanne Vega brings me, and somehow I always feel grateful that she does.
Oooof! I AM in a foul mood, deary me!
IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE HAVING TROUBLE AS I AM NOW, I FOUND A BLOG TO CHECK OUT:
-visit my poetry blog, Tomatos, Oranges & Other Fruit–
♦photos – 123rf.com♦