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100 days, one step at a time.

24 Feb

 

 

A hundred days is the time it took to kill a million people in Rwanda.

That’s ten thousand people a day, every day, for one hundred days.

These ten thousand people were not being mown down by machine gun (mostly), they were hacked to death, one by one, by other people.

I didn’t complete the three hundred and sixty days I’d set myself to write last year.

Infact, I barely made sixty.

My sister had cancer, got worse, then died.

My brother had caner, got worse, then died.

My dog got tired, went blind, then died.

My niece died, my boyfriends nephew died.

I couldn’t do it, at the time I said, I just cannot go on writing – I don’t have it in me, never mind the time.

I wish I had.

I was afraid that nothing I wrote would be free of pain.

Now I’m sorry I didn’t record it.

Also, I learn that it’s what you do inspite of circumstance, that makes a difference

It’s Lent, and this year I feel lent.

You see, God has been with me through the worst times and is still here now.

So I’ve given up some things – and I’m going to walk him to the cross.

And then I’m going to walk sixty more days in search for love.

I’m going on a hundred day journey, for love, out of gratitude, in expectation, for myself.

I’m going to write about this, for myself.

I am going to journal – honestly – brutally – for me – for the record – for something to leave behind – as is – forever.

I am going to walk a hundred days

One day at a time.

 

 

 

 

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7 Comments

Posted by on February 24, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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7 responses to “100 days, one step at a time.

  1. Daniel O. Casey

    February 24, 2012 at 12:00

    Good luck mate, and God bless you for even daring such a feat. I’ll pray for you. Dan.

     
    • kolembo

      February 24, 2012 at 22:07

      Thanks there. Ya…on a little God journey this year!

       
  2. Paula Tohline Calhoun

    February 25, 2012 at 05:35

    Dear Kenny:

    Just in time, I am getting this note up to you. I hope you got my reply to your message yesterday. This is Day one – and I have a few comments for you and for me! Not all my comments will be this long, I promise!

    Even when we think there is nothing to be grateful for, there always is. Always. Sometimes it takes searching – but only because we are down and depressed and feeling sorry for ourselves (lately I’ve been feeling a lot of that!) An attitude of gratitude is necessary for fulfillment. Life can seem empty and meaningless without it. It is important to show our gratitude to God whether we feel like it or not. After all, we don’t praise God because we feel like it – we praise God because we have chosen to, and God is worthy of all our praise (and more)!

    The 100th Psalm says “Enter into God’s gates with thanksgiving, and into God’s courts with praise!” That scripture is one so many remember and recite by rote, but have we all really considered what that is saying? It says that we cannot even get through the gates without thanksgiving! And we have to get through the gates before we enter into God’s courts!

    All prayer should begin with thanksgiving. If we really stopped to think about it, even in the midst of sorrow – and you have experienced so much in such a short time – there is so much for which we can be grateful. Be grateful that you had your brother and sister in your life – and ponder on all the good things that they brought with them into this life, and be joyful in their release from pain and suffering. Death is so often a blessing. Losing your dear dog-friend is also a crushing blow. We feel the emptiness of our home without them, and often wonder if we did enough for them in return for all they gave us. The fact that your dog lived to a ripe old age says something about that, and he was as blessed to have you as you were to have him. Be grateful for all he brought to your life, and remember him with love and thanksgiving, and that God would send us such wonderful companions along the way. I have been where you are right now. I still miss my sweet dog, and sometimes ache for her, but I know that she is fine – wherever he is, and that God willing, I will see her again.

    I am grateful for you, Kenneth! The e-mail from you yesterday meant and still means the world to me, because I too need a prayer partner – a fellow traveler along the road. My Dad had a favorite scripture about the walk to Emmaus: If you remember (Luke 24: 13-33), Jesus appeared to two of Christ’s followers, but they did not know him. When they told Jesus of the happenings of the past three days, they were in despair, but Jesus rebukes them saying, essentially, that all this was necessary, and interprets for them the scriptures from Moses to the Prophets. When Jesus later made himself known in the breaking of the bread, the two who had walked with him said, “Didn’t our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the scriptures?” Wow! Wouldn’t you have loved to be in on that Bible lesson?

    I am grateful for you, for our own walk to Emmaus that we are taking, and for our Paraclete, who is going with us, and who will open our eyes to all that we must know as we walk along the way.

    I wish you enough. . .
    Paula

     
    • kreemer

      February 19, 2017 at 16:06

      I wish you enough…

       
  3. kolembo

    February 25, 2012 at 20:56

    Hi Paula!

    Yay, we’re up and running!
    Thanks for the comment – and please – write as looooooong, or as short as you have to – we’ve just begun and this is the whole point I think.

    Somedays I’ll have lots to say and others – God knows! I’m worried about feeling silly, about putting it all out there!

    Always start a prayer with thanksgiving eh? Yes, I’ve been thinking about all the living things that I’ve lost lately and most days it’s ok (actually it’s never really ok but…), I know for sure where they are and I know that they’re alright. They are missed thought aren’t they…

    I loved the reference to the two on the walk…it’s one of my favourite stories!

    I’m a little confused about lent vs. easter suddenly!

    I’ve done ‘easter’ before, from palm sunday and good friday etc point of view, but it occurs to me that that’s the walk to the cross whereas lent, I thought, was his 40 day walk through the desert?

    I love that I’m doing this with you. I’m learning already. Today I looked around and truly had a sense of seeing beyond myself – of looking through new eyes – it was so fresh, and I thought, how’s paula doing?

    It’s a true privelege for me.

    Onward!

     
  4. lizfruitberry

    April 24, 2012 at 02:14

    What a goal? That is wonderful how you set this goal and are following thru! I too have had a horrible 2 years. The hardest in my life. In this time I have learned that God Loves me and that I cannot now- or ever be responsible for trying to “save” an ill person from death. Your blog is inspiring, as I have 4 critically ill family members. It is so hard to watch them suffer. I am happy I found this post today! Thank you. ūüėĄ

     
    • kreemer

      February 19, 2017 at 16:08

      So long after and see what beautiful things have happened. Love.

       

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