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Day Ten: Loving conversations with family and friends

04 Mar

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I think it’s clear that the week is on conversations.

I woke up today and groaned when I saw the meditation. Conversation…with family.

 Last conversation I had with family didn’t go well.

It was with my sister.

 I wasn’t  in a good mood, she wanted to give me a hug and I didn’t let her.

She took offence, poor thing, but that made it worse.

I hate feeling blackmailed – love me or else! You SHOULD love me.

It’s so tiring because afterward I have to deal with feeling bad about a situation that I didn’t even ask for.

Anyway, that WASN’T today, today I DIDN’T have conversation with family.

Instead I listened to others conversations.

I’m not sure how close anyone’s conversations are to their true intent.

Infact, I noticed that most conversation is concerned with that moment in particular and has nothing to do with how people think they are, or what their lives are about.

I’m not sure what that means or what I’m trying to say!

I’m tired today…I think I’m sick and I’ll check it out because I’ve been really tired, physically, for a year.

I felt far away from everything that was happening – kinda floated along.

Tonight, I have the cat on my lap, there are people dancing around the camp fire for some reason, and I’m off to the edge, watching them.

I’m looking at Jesus and he has the air of someone doing what he was born to do. Nobody else understands. He looks surrounded and alone, all at the same time.

I want to go over and tell him something, (comfort him?), but I don’t. He looks in my direction and smiles. I wonder if he’d take a hug…he doesn’t need it. I wonder what it would be like to be his lover.

The conversation today at the BKs was about the range of relationships one has with God.

But I’ve been quiet all day.

 

“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (proverbs 29-20)

P.S. I’ve been thinking…if I were a woman, what kind of conversation would I be having with the bible? I’m never addressed except by another womans name.

 

 

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7 Comments

Posted by on March 4, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

7 responses to “Day Ten: Loving conversations with family and friends

  1. Titirangi Storyteller

    March 4, 2012 at 22:57

    Interesting…

     
    • kolembo

      March 5, 2012 at 00:28

      hey there! Yeah, i’m doing lent this year and taking it quite seriously! Ah well uh? Hope you’re doing well. How did wedding go? Must drop in on you! Sending you gap tooth smile (sneezed my front cap off – look like a dangerous gangster)!

       
  2. Paula Tohline Calhoun

    March 5, 2012 at 06:17

    Loving conversations with family come easily to me. I am fortunate to have family that is easy to love – at least my immediate family. There might be some in the outer circle that are hard to have a loving conversation with, but I don’t know – I haven’t seen them in a long time!

    A hug is really a simple thing – next time offer one yourself – whether you feel like it or not – because you know as far as love goes, feelings are irrelevant! It’s a good thing that we don’t behave strictly according to our feelings all the time! Wouldn’t the world be a mess?

    http://paulatohlinecalhoun1951.wordpress.com/2011/07/18/a-simple-thing/

    Jesus always wants to be hugged, I think. And I definitely am always longing to feel his arms around me. They always hold me just tight enough, and warm me without burning, and love me without agenda. Ah! Just to feel my Lord’s embrace. I’ll be at the campfire, and after hugging Jesus, I’ll be hugging you. Maybe a bit will rub off on you too, should you still decide not to hug Him!

    Stay warm, I’ll see you at the circle of Joy! It has been a hard and rocky road today. . .I didn’t sleep at all last night, but I am hoping for enough tonight!

    TTYL!
    Paula

     
    • kolembo

      March 5, 2012 at 10:10

      Hi Paula…enjoyed reading you on ‘I’ve been tagged!’ It was odd doing yesterday’s. You like to think that all is well with family, but we’re a mess. No-ones married yet, no-one moved on, and everyone’s fearful about the future. Everything is up in the air and changing. But we pull together when we need to. I don’t know whether that’s good enough, but I also don’t know that it’s a good thing that we’re still so much a part of each others lives. I mean…how to juggle the notion of siblings vs family? Hope you get some sleep today, see you tonight.

       
  3. Booksphotographsandartwork

    March 6, 2012 at 18:41

    Wow this one stings.

    “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (proverbs 29-20)

     
    • kolembo

      March 6, 2012 at 19:45

      Ya, it does!

      For me there is nothing worse than feeling that I have damaged someone through words.

      Words can change lives forever.

       
  4. danniehill

    March 7, 2012 at 11:53

    A kind word last for but a moment– a harsh word, forever. You have the right attitude, Kenneth.

     

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