Day Sixteen – Looking at forgiving family

10 Mar

I slept like a log last night!

I’ve been thinking aout my sister since last week, so there’s obviously something there.

I can’t work out whether I want to forgive out of a sense of keeping everything hunky dory or if I really want to forgive her.

Maybe time will do the trick because it ws a silly argument.

I don’t like arguments and I don’t like confrontation.

However, being non-cnfrontational makes me feel like a looser.

I want to be able to stand my ground and not run.

‘Give the other cheek’?

Has anyone ever done this? Is it workable?

It doesn’t sit well with me.

‘Forgive them Seventy time seven’…’Forgive them for they do not know what they do’…forgiveness is turning out to bevery difficult.

Now I’m angry with my sister for putting me in a situation whereI have to practise forgiveness!


I’m in silent meditation this weekend – last night ended up like a party sort of – people singing and telling stories. It was nice.

“Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” Luke 23:24


Posted by on March 10, 2012 in Uncategorized


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3 responses to “Day Sixteen – Looking at forgiving family

  1. Paula Tohline Calhoun

    March 11, 2012 at 21:17

    Forgiveness. Forgiveness most especially of our family, and those closest to us. Because we are attached to them, they are harder to forgive because we are confronted with them almost every day, and see the hurt and anger caused by them and caused by us constantly, looking at us, showing our weakness.

    Yes, TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. You will feel more liberated than you ever have in your life. Because there is a central truth about not forgiving: It is ultimately self-destructive. It chips away at your ability to love anyone ever, By definition, love is unconditional. If you fail to forgive the people you love (or think you do), then you must question your ability to love. TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. Drop it. It is important that you understand that forgiveness does not automatically mean you forget the trespass (either theirs or your own). While that will sometimes happen, I believe most of the time the hurtful incidents remain in our memory to help us to shape how we will behave and react in the future. We all have much to learn in how we relate to one another, and the people we mot love are the ones that we need to understand the best and most.

    If you must always feel victorious in an argument, then give in. You will have “heaped burning coals” upon the other’s head just by smiling and turning away. And understand that they might never let on – you have an inward satisfaction that you have done what is right, what will serve to build up your own fortitude and forbearance.

    One of my favorite “Peanuts” comic strips ever, though, reflects both of our sentiments though about forgiveness at various times: Charlie Brown and Linus are discussing their Sunday School lesson on forgiveness. Charlie says,”the Bible tells us to forgive “seventy times seven.” Linus replies. “OK, but 491 times and all bets are off!” (Or something similar to that. I could not find the cartoon, but you get the idea!) It’s hard at times not to feel that way. Since we are to be on the subject of forgiveness for a while, here is a very interesting sermon on the subject (easy to read), by a Unitarian preacher. He makes some good points about the paradox of forgiveness:

    I’ll see you soon!

    • kolembo

      March 12, 2012 at 00:26

      Lovely post – a lot to think on.
      Yes…our family…the heirloom mirror.

      I think you’re right. You don’t forgive, you’ve harmed yourself forever.

      That’s why I get angry with people who do stuff that means that I’m stuck in that situation, out of the blue, incoming!

      Then again…do I do that to others? Put them in situations where they have to deal with forgiving me?


      It’s the messiest thing this forgiveness.

      I see that wherever it’s real forgiveness, I’m not the one in the wrong – or don’t feel so.

      Difficult work because it calls to my beligerence…my need to protect my dignity or expand my rightness.

      Really, in the fullness of human spirit – in the fullness of myself, forgiving should be easy.

      See you tomorrow, Paula.

      Hope you’re getting some sleep.


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