Interlude; Between death and resurrection there is only Saturday

07 Apr

Paula, absolutely.

Sunday’s a coming! Sunday! (had to plug my poem!)

I am preparing to go to silent retreat…I’ve deceided that I’m going to do it.

So much happened listening to that SERMON!

I was sitting there with you – and there were moments, many of them, were I was like – is this white lady preaching to me? I don’t do lectures.

Points where – for example – loving another and loving God – I was so ‘in the moment’, you know, where my life and what is being said are resonant.

It’s like that.

And then, those moments were followed directly by the thought – perhaps she’s praising me! Showing me that I’m doing right!

Then immediately back to – she’s lecturing!

In between these thoughts, and before and after, and during the sermon, what was going on was God.

It was funny, and true and powerful and light and heavy.

I sat through the whole thing, eyes closed, tinny lap-top speakers. Didn’t think I’d even get five minutes.

I spoke to Simon today about going to Church tomorrow. He won’t do it. And for a while there I was angry because I ‘get it all’.

Then I was angry that all I could think about was getting through Sunday so I could ‘relax’. Imagine.

Then I thought about Piety – I hate it! Infact, the hardest thing about the ‘one hundred days’ is the PIOUS nun I’m following!

Then today is Saturday, and I want to do the whole imagination thing where Jesus is dead and I don’t know about Sunday. What good is it to know about Sunday before it happens…I’m thinking…I want to do the thing RIGHT!

You know, that all drops away.

I’ll ask my mum if she wants to go to church on Sunday.

I’ll ask Simon again, and if he doesn’t, I will be happy that I did, that I stress the importance of God in MY life, and that I want it for him to…however, I love him and that is MY need, and I trust God anyway. I’ll see him on Monday.

And I’ll go for silent retreat because that’s what I really wanted to do. Go and meet Jesus, and conjure up the sounds and the images and the time. However, I will know that Sunday is coming.

Because I do.

What fun this conversation has been!

I’ll see you tonight.

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Posted by on April 7, 2012 in Uncategorized


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