I was without a vehicle again today.
And at around 10am, the electricity went off.
I haven’t been in as bad a mood as I was yesterday, but I was on the net on my phone almost the whole day.
I have two books that I keep starting, intending to finish some day.
I am dependent on having certain things in my life;
Someone to cook for me
Someone to wash my cloths.
Missing any of these sends me into instant turmoil.
If I had a lot of money, what would I do?
Get some kitchen appliances – hell, do up the house!
Get a new car.
Get a couple of new phones.
Get a new computer.
Pay off all mine and Simon’s debts.
Buy something substantial for each member of the family.
That would be enough.
If I had more money, would I then need something else?
Just this, or that other thing?
What keeps me from doing what I want to do now?
Pride has alot to do with it. I need my car. I need my phones. Cannot appear in public without those.
Can I move DOWN from what I am accustomed to, and still feel that life is good, that it’s worth living?
I want a new life for myself, a re-newed sense of purpose.
I am looking for a reason to live that inspires me again.
How shall I measure my life?
I have the feeling that, behind my back, mountains are moving.