I don’t know what I was expecting.
I’m tired of looking at myself…..ahhhhhhhHHHHHH!
Today I’m to make a list of all the people I would like to be forgiven by.
There are so few…hahaha!
No really, all I can think of is my Sister, but I’ve done this before and it just seems to leave the door open to more rubbish.
I get to a perfectly workable relationship, then I open the door and the same rubbish walks in.
Sigh. I wonder if you can forgive but ask the person to stay away?
It’s going to be a long week. I really can’t think of anyone I need to forgive. I have no grudges that I’m carrying, nothing that comes up.
Except myself and God.
I have alot of regrets in my life. I was never the person to think that I would but I experience these moments of regret.
It’s everywhere. All my memories have been taken over by regret.
I don’t know when it happened but I feel like all the choices I made were wrong, all the experiences I’ve had are fake, all the friendships I’ve had, I’ve not been good in.
Tonight round the fire, everyone is quiet. No-one’s talking, not even Jesus, we’re looking into the flames and being together.
I want to ask him what he means when he says he has the power to forgive.
By whose authority? When he says God’s, what does he mean?
When he takes about his father, who is he talking about? The Hebrew guy…Abraham etc?
What about my lot? Where are my ancestors in all this?
Anyway, I stare at the flames and resolve to see this through. Wherever he goes, I go.