Really, what’s the meditation center doing right next to a bar?!
I don’t know which was there first but they’re both older than 20 years, and they are night and day.
I did an all night silent retreat yesterday. Lot’s of things came up.
We had time to sleep between 11pm and 4am when morning-effort-making-levitation begins.
When I got to bed, all I could hear was the thump of music!
On, and on, no melody, just hundred-beats-per-minute-new-dance-house kind of thing.
Impossible to sleep on.
So I did experiment – I imagined sending them soul rays of goodness and hope.
It didn’t work.
Still, it allowed me to be present to my past.
I was a rocker. Serious party animal for fifteen years.
When I turned 40, I turned the tap off, intentionally.
It was difficult at first, I missed the fun and the people.
This morning, after meditation at 5am I took a walk around the block.
It’s funny. Bar brawls, people bare-foot and senseless. Lots of shouting.
This is what I was missing??
I gave up that life reluctantly and occasionaly blame God for being so stringent.
Thank God for having me grow up at 40 and not miss the boat.
I cannot say that I’m sorry for the past – it was a blast.
But I cannot imagine being there at 50.
As you grow, you find a first time for everything. Then suddenly, it’s the last.
I cannot imagine doing bars, just as I come to die.
I’m so pleased, I think I’ll go out and have a drink.
Seriously, I feel so humbled and so pleased.
God didn’t make a big thing out of it for me. I didn’t hit ‘rock bottom’. I didn’t do the whole nine yards. I survived with my dignity intact,and all I did was ask.
So, have I forgiven those late night party-ers? Look, they couldn’t care less that I was next door trying to meditate, nor should they. There’s nothing to forgive.
I AM grateful for the freedom though. I never found God in a bar.
A special thought goes out to all those who are battling addictions of any kind. You’re courage is extraordinary.