Day Twenty: Forgiving myself. Yay. 

13 Mar


The title is so tired!

I’m fefling flat – I get that I feel flat alot.

I didn’t leave the house today, spent it by myself.

I set the alarm this morning and then left the phone downstairs.

Know that ‘missed-alarm-meeting’ feeling?

I was furious with myself, I was furious with my boyfriend, I was furious with the traffic.

I didn’t express any of this of course, I hugged him as I left, cursed silently at the government, forgave the alarm clock.

I had already been thinking about forgiving myself as soon as forgiveness came up as a topic to meditate on.

Is that the same as being forgiven?

Today, the moments of regret were tempered.

I am stopping myself from being derogatory ABOUT myself.

It’s odd. I took that to be humility.

Actually it’s a disrespect to my self.

I’ve had this long standing thing that respect is not something i need.

I don’t need to be respected by anyone, I don’t need to puff my chest out,

Explains why then, my thoughts about myself are so bad.

I don’t understand. Why now? You promised!

I hadn’t realised just how bad it had gotten.

I’m embarassed and ashamed and I’m not going to do it anymore.

That’s what I told Jesus around the campfire today and he smiled.

He asked if I was hungry.


“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

1 Comment

Posted by on March 13, 2017 in Uncategorized



One response to “Day Twenty: Forgiving myself. Yay. 

  1. kreemer

    March 13, 2017 at 15:54

    So, how long can you keep looking inward Kenny.
    You sound old, and self-important.

    Do what you’re don’t, it’s not that difficult.


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