Some college student doing History of Art is going to come across this.
Not so deep.
I feel like a pervert.
I’ve spent the last three days staring at people.
I’m in the car, I’m staring at the driver next to me.
At church they all think I’m saying hi – to begin with.
I’m looking at them thinking, are you beautiful? Are you?
I’m just seeing people. Lots and lots of people.
They all have legs, arms, mouths.
They’re all busy, they are getting what they want.
They avoid everyone they don’t know.
Are they beautiful? Are they, are they?
Today I was to find beauty in ‘art’.
The church had a class of children sing for us today.
I looked at them carefully, they were beautiful.
Their heads were too big, their clothing was untidy, they had grubby fingers but they were beautiful and their song’s made me smile.
I have more questions than I’m answering.
It’s like I’m noticing all these things but I’m not part of it. I’m looking in from outside.
I’m sure the final day of the week will be to notice how beautiful I am.
And I’m sure I will.
But really, how much of this can one take?!
I mean, how ‘good’ can you be? How self aware? how ‘elevated’?
I am finding it all quite fake today – so what forgive, appreciate beauty, be grateful?
So what? Does this make me better than you?
Am I closer to God?
Ahhhhh, I tell ya, sometimes it seems sooo ridiculous.
I am sitting on a furiously hot stone in the middle of the desert with a man who’s getting ready to hop onto a donkey and ride into Jerusalem and save my soul.
I don’t know when I got this soul, who asked me about it, and how I came to be a sinner.
I’m just here, whopee, get on with it.
JESUS is having a good time. He knows what he’s here for.