Simon is complaining about my phone.
I don’t know when it happened but it seems I’ve become one of those kids who run mobile conversations at all times, even when others are present.
I hadn’t realised it, but then I made it a point to not be on the phone when I’m with anyone – and I couldn’t stand it after five minutes.
Enhanced reality. I google everything on the go. Questions I have, bits of conversation coming up, I wikipedia facts about cats, and Obama and second hand cars, I theme and re-theme my phone, make sure I’m running the latest custom firmware – my real life and the internet have become inseparable.
Today the meditation was on trying to be friendly all day.
I was indoors so that was easy. Simon thinks I’m a very friendly person. He says people appreciate how easy I am to be around.
I’m smiling at that. Makes me feel good…unless of course, he means that I’m light weight.
You know, I think some people are too afraid to fail or be rejected, to show friendliness.
I find that I want the people around me to feel welcome, and important and interesting. And they are, for the most part.
Sometimes I will be ‘friendly’ just because the people are there – inside I’m wishing they’d just leave. I ask myself if then, this is a ‘sacrifice’?
Is it better to just excuse myself and leave, or suffer the time and be friendly doing it?
I don’t know.
But I find that even after spending time with people has been hard on me, when I can give those moments up to be with people, I feel good.
On the flip side, I don’t need others to be friendly towards me in order to feel comfortable and I try and make this clear so they’re not falling over themselves to engage me.
I don’t know. I’ll give you a hand if you need one.