I have been more patient with work and at work this year than any other time in my life.
I was in a project working with Internally Displaced People when my sister and brother died. I excused myself for no longer than a week or so. I don’t see why anyone else needs to be affected by what’s happening to me.
That project was supposed to last a couple of months.
It’s been running for six.
In the beginning, I held on, firm in the knowledge that a few months – christmas at the latest – I’d be free to go and my mourning could begin.
It didn’t happen like that.
It’s been day in, day out – with everything that comes with handling a project, fallout, expectation management, product delivery, compromise.
Many things that I counted on happening, did not happen.
It has really tested me because many times I was sure of the hand of God directing me – but still, things haven’t turned out the way I thought they would.
Was I kidding myself?
Do I really ‘hear’ God?
Today I woke up to find a puncture on the car. Rushed to buy breakfast from the bakery, got home and found that the pastries were years old. Got back into the car, absolutely LIVID, walked into the bakery and told them as calmly as I could to give me back my money.
I was looking for the slightest hesitation.
I got it. And they got wrath. I got my money back, and even though I did go off on them, I was aware that I was trying to be patient – so they didn’t get the FULL ENCHILADA.
Still – ha – patience?
Got home and found that Simon had fixed the puncture (felt like a damsel in distress saved by a knight in breast plate!) and made pancakes.
Went and dropped the tyre to the very same petrol station that I had had a problem with on Easter Friday. They were out of power. Got out of the car and decieded to wait it out at a cafe. Already this is un-heard of from me. THEY were out of power. Still, I sat and asked Simon if he’d wait with me. The power came back, tyre got fixed.
Home. Power out. Waited. Four hours in the dark. Power back.
I have watched myself the whole day. There’s a smile inside. I’m going to have to make patience a friend. I realise for the first time, that impatience is a mighty waste of time.
The need for it arises when you can’t do anything about it anyway BUT accept, adapt and wait.
It doesn’t mean that I can’t do anything.
I can turn my attention toward something else.
Perhaps next time Patience grazes me with it’s tentacles I’ll remember to look around and see what else I’m being guided toward.
Perhaps I can help someone else in the meantime.