Day Fifty-eight: Money – giving it away

19 Apr

In at the deep end eh!

Money. Giving it away.

The Nun running this series of meditations writes that ‘…after making sure her necessities were sorted, she was able to send a good amount…’

A good amount.

I had planned to do meditation AND church this morning, but I was irritated when I woke up for no particular reason.

I muddled around a little, then decieded to skip meditation. I contemplated skipping church – my car’s not working very well.

In the end, I chose to walk – it’s only ten minutes. I went to my wallet and picked a seventh of what was in there and I realised that sometimes my choice to go to church is influenced by what I have in my wallet to give.


Anyway, I sat through the service – it was the end of a months consideration of suffering.

Today we looked at the approach to how to pray – you know – the Lords Prayer.

I thought about the confession of my sins, and for the first time I kind of understood the power that there is in confessing before another human being – aka catholics – as opposed to just going off by yourself and confessing before God.

Not that one is better than the other but I think having another human being stand in for God, affects the way you confess.

I learned that those who are saved can pray for others who are living in sin, and suffering because of it. We have the power to ask that their sins be forgiven.

I wondered what gives me the right to notice other peoples sin, or pray for them.

I learned that suffering is of two kinds; environmental, where I suffer situations that occur, and I guess personal, where I suffer the consequences of My Sin in My life.

So I thought about sin on the walk home. None of this thinking was very deep – even church wasn’t very deep – it was kinda ‘just there’ and as I walked past a lady hawking sweets, I wished I had taken enough from my wallet to give.

I thought about the very rich and had a day dream about Bill Gates – so rich that he uses a portion of his wealth to look after himself and his family and then acts as custodian over the rest of his portion so that he can give it away.

What am I like when I am in the middle of monetary richness?

I have had a poem in my mind for a couple of months on what a big difference, a good sum of money can make in peoples lives.

I’m thinking about money and the role it plays in my life.

I have two debts that keep cropping up. I have never had debt. I don’t know how these ones came up. I feel bound by them and want some freedom.

And that’s it really.

Oh. I thought about how I relate to God and found that I speak to Jesus differently from how I speak to God.

And just now I’ve thought, that since the 40 days of Easter are long gone, must the meditation left in the One Hundred Days of Love always refer to my life as a Christian?

Anyway, I’m going to vary my relationship to God for a while; I figure a week each of; as friend, as lover, as brother, as sister, as mother as father and as Creater and Destroyer of all things.

A new project – wary of it – but this one I’ll take on just for myself and see where it takes me.

This was longer than I thought it was going to be – I wish you all peace this Sunday.

“Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will repay him for his deed.”

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Posted by on April 19, 2017 in Uncategorized



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