Day seventy-nine: Rage Vs. Resignation

11 May



“Be angry but sin not; commune with your own hearts on your beds and be silent. Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord.” (Psalm 4:4-5)



I feel as though I have failed every aspect of todays verse.

I resigned.

I gave up the battle and just didn’t bother about right and wrong, about sacrifice, about being pure.

I was base in my thinking, selfish in my actions, and redolent with life.


I had a ‘what does it matter anyway’ attitude.


I feel it as a loss of faith.

Not caring what happens is not a victory. It’s a defeat.

I’ve learned enough so far to know about Patience, Positivity, Certainty…

I feel non of those things.


So I gave up trying – too difficult.


I missed church AND meditation on Sunday, my run this afternoon, and now I’m heading off to bed.

I am being petulant.


I am sulking and I don’t even know why.


I’ll laugh at myself some other time.

1 Comment

Posted by on May 11, 2017 in Uncategorized


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One response to “Day seventy-nine: Rage Vs. Resignation

  1. kreemer

    May 11, 2017 at 00:10

    And I’m not going to meditation tomorrow!

    Kenny, remember what you learned today, outside of temples and churches meditation centers:

    From this moment on, I choose to love myself – just as I am.

    Hold on to that one.


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