“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in public squares?
Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.”
“Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes,
For the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
And the adulteress preys upon your very life.”
And so it is with porn.
And when I think about it, envy of any sort.
Perhaps that is why envy and lust are so enjoined?
Like – when you envy, covetousness is part of it?
The pain here is that what you have, is not enough – even though it is given by God – and that there is also some anger there, or wantonness that lazy thinking to leads to violence or the act of taking.
Sometimes, when I look at porn, it’s like I somehow have let go of my partner for something that has nothing to do with him.
That I reduce my partners purpose in my life and take for granted what he brings.
As I grow older, I become more aware of filth.
And what it means to be dirty and how power is invested in purity and how dirtiness breeds fear of being uncovered, and anger at being unclean and sorrow at being corruptible. Or something like that.
I must Drink my own water. Make sure it’s clean.
Take it to God and ask for cleansing.
And be satisfied with my own fresh, clean water.
Water may also be, my own discerned understanding of God.
Because in this Spirit-filled atmosphere, where everyone is a prophet, where else can I find direction but in prayer?