– My mother has cancer, she is in a hospital about 2km away from me right now. She is almost guaranteed to never walk again and live a life in pain even if she does survive.
She has never done anything wrong, she has never hurt a living soul and she did everything for me and my little sister, she was truly selfless.
And yet here we are, she will live with pain for the rest of her life if she even survives. If god exists he will have to beg me for forgiveness because of what he has done to my mother, or for what he failed to do when he could have stopped it.
– Hi there. I am so sorry about your mother. I lost my father and my twin and my brother a while ago, and my mother is now frail.
I am so sorry. You know – everyone is angry with God.
It just doesn’t seem like God cares or is even here.
And honestly if God is there, God is doing a pretty bad job.
I often wonder about – nevermind my loosing the family I have – but others around the world in war or poverty – how would I survive?
At 21, I kinda had a conversation with God.
I just said, OK, I’m tired, I believe you.
That’s my story.
Whether we believe in God or not, which God comes to us, how and why, whether God comes at all, whether God is real or not, we have to live our lives.
It really doesn’t matter what you do. The whole thing is irrelevant.
Heaven or Hell, God or not, it’s irrelevant and then we die.
I hope you find something to hang your life on, that makes you want to get up in the morning, something that gives you the power to love your mum while she is still here, that allows you to have experiences and build a life that you enjoy and is free from anger and regret.
It doesn’t matter what you do. No one cares.
I found that I had to choose to care and to want happiness.
I had to choose it.
I am trying to create my life with my thoughts.
When I spoke to God, God said – ok, I’ll help you with your thoughts.
It still doesn’t matter.
You get to choose. You have the power. Despair and pain and suffering are hoaxes.
It still doesn’t matter.
• Rom. 8: 35-39
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
– No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.”