I’m growing older.
There is a song – Circle – by Joni Mitchell I listened to over and over in my early twenties.
Lately I’ve been getting headaches. And this year has been mentally tough.
It’s dragged on and I’ve been down and so much wasted time and so many regretful choices in my past and a life with nothing to show.
What will they say at my funeral?
– “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm
my great army that I sent among you.
26 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.
If I had tears, I would cry.
“The time which the sinner lost, in which he might have gained increase of grace and glory, is lost forever.”
But all which he had gained before, returns.
All his lost love returns through penitence; all his past attainments, which were before accepted by God, are accepted still for the same glory.
“Former works which were deadened by sins following, revive through repentance”.
The penitent begins anew God’s service, but he is not at the beginning of that service, nor of his preparation for life eternal.
If the grace which he had before, and the glory corresponding to that grace, and to his former attainments through that grace, were lost to him, then, although eternally blessed, he would be punished eternally for forgiven sin, which, God has promised, should “not be remembered.
And a great wonder happens. A life anew.