Tag Archives: christianity

Then come together again

-1 Corinthians 7:5-

-“Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”-

I think about me and the relationship I am in. I often wonder if it’s alright that only one of us believes.
Paul is nuts.

Am I to be patient with God or HE with me? Am I to be patient with my partner? Does that imply that my partner is a child?
Or is he to be patient with me and all my tantrums and paradoxes and complications?

-1 Corinthians 7:14-

-“For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”-

Here is Grace and Mercy and Forgiveness and Gentleness and Kindness and Self-Discipline.

-1 Corinthians 7:16-

-“How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”-

Intense. Even the grammar. And the punctuation. And I think there is space for my lover and I to love each other in God.
I think it’s possible.

-Leviticus 10:10-

-“You must distinguish between the holy and the common, between the unclean and the clean.”-

I just don’t know how to do it.

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Posted by on June 15, 2018 in Uncategorized


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We are not the only ones on muddy Lanes

-Ezra 10:9-

-“Within three days, all the men of Judah and Benjamin were gathered in Jerusalem.

And on the twentieth day of the ninth month, all the people were sitting in the square before the house of God, greatly distressed by the occasion and because of the rain.“-

It makes me smile, the image of this lot huddled about in distress and soaked to the skin, knee deep in mud.

It reminds me of the village. Or Pilgrims on the Continent of India.

Underlying this however, is a grime reminder of just how treacherous a non-contextual look at the Bible can be.

Israel has come together to apologise to God for intermarriage.

These same passages I imagine have been read before – at the time of slavery, and I imagine are being read now – at a time of Supremacy.

It is difficult to read the Bible and depend on God when clearly, in the cycle of life, these have been used as tools of oppression and the congealing of ignorance.

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Posted by on May 29, 2018 in Uncategorized


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Elisha’s tomb

-2 Kings 13:21-

-“Once while some Israelites were burying a man, suddenly they saw a band of raiders; so they threw the man’s body into Elisha’s tomb.

When the body touched Elisha’s bones, the man came to life and stood up on his feet.”

I have always thought that it was only Jesus that brought the dead back to life, and even with that it was just Lazarus and one child.

Actually Paul has. And Peter. Elisha does also, and even in death.

I am facing a crisis this year.

How can the Bible be a facsimile of truth? In other words, word for word, sentence for sentence, the exact copy of exact truth?

And if interpret it I must, who’s version do I seek and how is this different from Sharia Law and the Islamic system of Quranic reading?

It just is not possible to go through the Bible this way – it is not possible to read 2 Kings and see sanity.

So then Jesus came to change everything. And left the Holy Spirit. This same Spirit I am seeing on pulpits everywhere, across every religion, proclaiming themselves to be the ONE way to God, preaching the most egregious sentiment about everyone other than themselves, calling to arms, sentencing to hell, amassing to themselves, purifying and condemning, refusing even good if it is not subservient to their God, their way, the true way….

I am a Christian. I have been for decades. I believe in Jesus and in his death and his Resurrection and his invitation too life and, yeah, his miracles – I cannot, at the moment, just take the Bible as the word of God.

These are words of men and women in a battle with life through the history of life.

I don’t know where to turn.

Except for the prayer I have that God has this for me, that illumination is present in these words, that somehow God can speak to me – it’s rough.

Because I’m not sure the Christian I am is the Christian I here around me today.

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Posted by on May 6, 2018 in Uncategorized


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Oh my God, a feast

-2 Kings 6:28-29-

-Then he asked her, “What’s the matter?”

She answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him today, and tomorrow we’ll eat my son.

So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him,’ but she had hidden him.”


I don’t know what to do with this. I have already ridden so far out on my horse this year, going through the Bible everyday, lacing it with my own intensely personal look at feet and human sexuality and I really did not know that a story like this was here and I don’t know what to do with it.

I mean, it has context – but it’s Israel Samaria.

Am I turning the Bible into a spectacle? If I were a journalist, would I report something that was dangerous to society?

I have to ask myself, what am I looking for?

How is this entry going to help me? I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

I mean no disrespect but 2 Kings is…. Very difficult.

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Posted by on May 5, 2018 in Uncategorized


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Throw the mountain into the sea

-Matthew 21:21-22-

-Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.

If you believe, you will receive whatever you all for in prayer.”-

These words have great resonance when I’m in trouble.

So many times, I have felt Mercy in my life…I have escaped the consequences of bad decisions, I have evaded debt (probably the thing I am most grateful for) I have found myself ok with life.

These words resonate deeply with people in need.

I can’t help thinking though, of the promises being made on behalf of them.

So many people put their trust and faith into these words.

I do.

Prosperity preaching is so seductive – and the faith is so genuine. Healing. Freedom from poverty. Mending of relationships. Everything is possible.

I feel bad. How can I begrudge these people?

Still. The pastors are very rich. What happens to the hope that’s placed in these words?

I have felt abandoned by God in my own life but I’ve never felt let down…if that makes sense.

Everytime I have asked, God has been there. Everytime.

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Posted by on May 4, 2018 in Uncategorized


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-Acts 10:15-

-The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”-

Does God clean the homosexual?

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Posted by on April 29, 2018 in Uncategorized


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-Exodus 3:11-

-But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”-

I’ve been thinking about purpose for a while.

I tried that whole ‘Purpose Driven Life’ course for a while. It was a little too dense.

Between ages 23 – 26 I worked out belief and faith and work and purpose (meaning).

Belief makes all things possible. Faith is what I use when it doesn’t seem likely. Work is what I came to do. Purpose is the cause of work and meaning is work’s result.


Twenty-five years later, I find that I have failed at what I believe my purpose was and have no Work.

I am living a very nice life. Everything is provided for. I have a beautiful house, I have a lover and I have enough money.

I don’t need to work.

I am confused by the Church. My belief still stands – but the God I follow and believe in is not reflected in the Christians I see nor understood in the sermons I hear.

And God is confusing in the Bible. God is distant. Part tyrant, part child with all the power in the Universe looking after all things yet wanting a personal relationship with me. God seems silent in the face of suffering and yet, I tell you, I owe everything to God.

So I follow.

Jesus is my avenue for the redemption of sin – sin that I acquire simply by being born human.

The Great Commission – go out and preach! – terrifies me.

I see intolerance and cruelty and hypocrisy and violence and favoritism and haughtiness and blame and war as people Chase after the supremacy of their own God. It’s everywhere. In every religion.

And so meaning in my life is not there.

Sometimes I say – if only I knew what God wants me to do, I’d do it!

Would I? How do I know it’s ‘God’ asking? Hitler didn’t listen to the devil. Trump may have a direct line.

And ig God said, sell all your belongings and follow me, would I go?

The prosperity gospel is tearing through Africa – desperate poverty clinging to hope, the preachers and teachers growing VERY rich indeed, the hardness of hearts, the intolerant cries for homosexual blood, louder and louder….

I am so grateful for my life. I am so happy. And yet I am sad. Without meaning there is no purpose and without purpose I am lost.

It’s a very strange place to be.

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Posted by on April 26, 2018 in Uncategorized


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-1 Corinthians 2:9-

However, as it is written – in the abundance of water, the fool is thirsty.

“No eye has seen,
No ear has heard,
No mind conceived
what God has prepared for
those who love him”-

-Paul 3:4-

-For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere men?-

-..because of the doctrine of the church only Catholics may come and receive the sacrament of Christ….-

When we take Bible verses because we like them and want to tell others, are we not wrong when that becomes the premise from which we judge their refusal to accept?

Yet, when you find salvation how can you keep it to yourself?
Are you not mere men [women]?


It is the one aspect of Religion that turns me off, in its present guise.
Evangelism has gone beyond spreading good news to being the root of terrorism.

Christian. Muslim. Hindu. Buddhist.

In every Evangelist I find a refusal to accept The Other as also, a respect-worthy child of Earth.

It is most upsetting.

♦Photo – Personal♦

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Posted by on April 9, 2018 in Uncategorized


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-Genesis 16:11-12-

-The Angel of the LORD also said to her:

“You are now with child
and you will have a son.

You shall name him Ishmael,
for the LORD has heard of you misery.

He will be a wild donkey of a man;
his hand will be against everyone and everyone’s hand against him,

and he will live in hostility towards all his brothers.”-

I imagine a handsome fellow, a brute, a porn star.
I don’t know how this story ends.

The Bible is a little crazy about sex. Everyone is at it, Old Testament and New but very little is said apart from….. immorality.

I think of my relationship to pornography and masturbation.

The time we’re living in – porn is everywhere. And everyone, everyone at some point in their lives, will be touched by it.

What happens to me when I look at it? As an adult, many times porn has provided an avenue to really enjoy being with my partner – otherwise I find myself racked by a lack of confidence in my performance, a lack of courage and imagination and an inability to let go into the experience.

It’s…you know… squishy!

Babies! Yep…we don’t have them, at least not yet. So it’s all about getting off – and a little bit about getting to know each other, trusting, expressing love, skating intimacy….like every other relationship.

But I look at porn in secret and that is sometimes problematic. We tried looking at it together in the beginning but THAT just turned out to be embarrassing to me.

Hey – you don’t really know what turns people on, and if you did you’d be shocked!

Further, I’m almost certain that I DON’T want my fantasies in bed with me…I really don’t want him heaving and grunting like a cowboy baked and hardened by the desert.

Still. Seeing porn makes me feel a little less anxious, a little less alone.


Other times, just out and about or making breakfast together or something, my soul leaps for joy for this one man who I’m with; I have someone to be with.

I can’t have a relationship with porn stars!

I think.

Then there is the question about whether or not I’m demeaning the actors. Fueling the corruption of other people’s lives.

I don’t feel that I am.

After all this time, I still don’t have an answer.

The Spirit of God whispers to me: use discernment. Depend on your Faith. Do neither too much nor non at all.

Be gentle with yourself. Include your spouse. Use discretion.

The Bible tells me I’m going to hell.

I miss my Dad.

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Posted by on March 15, 2018 in Uncategorized


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-Leviticus 26:4-13-

-“I will send you rain in it’s season, and the ground will yield it’s crops and the trees of the field their fruit.

Your threshing will continue until grape harvest and the grape harvest will continue until planting, and your will eat all the food you want and live safely in your land.

I will grant Peace in the Land and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid.

I will remove Savage bears from the land, and the sword will not pass through your country.

You will pursue your enemies, and they will fall by the sword before you.

Five of you will chase a hundred, and a hundred of you will chase ten thousand, and your enemies will fall by the sword before you.

I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you.

You will still be eating last year’s harvest when you will have to move it out to make room for the new.

I will put my dwelling place among you, and I will not abhor you.

I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people.

I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high.”-

What a proclamation.

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Posted by on March 11, 2018 in Uncategorized


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