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Shut your mouth!

-Matthew 12:36-38-

“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.“-

– “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Wow.

Ok.

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Posted by on July 18, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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I have often wondered what happens to lost years

I’m growing older.

There is a song – Circle – by Joni Mitchell I listened to over and over in my early twenties.

Lately I’ve been getting headaches. And this year has been mentally tough.

It’s dragged on and I’ve been down and so much wasted time and so many regretful choices in my past and a life with nothing to show.

What will they say at my funeral?

__________________________________

Joel 2:25-26

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm
my great army that I sent among you.
26 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.

________________

If I had tears, I would cry.

The time which the sinner lost, in which he might have gained increase of grace and glory, is lost forever.”

But all which he had gained before, returns.

All his lost love returns through penitence; all his past attainments, which were before accepted by God, are accepted still for the same glory.

“Former works which were deadened by sins following, revive through repentance”.

The penitent begins anew God’s service, but he is not at the beginning of that service, nor of his preparation for life eternal.

If the grace which he had before, and the glory corresponding to that grace, and to his former attainments through that grace, were lost to him, then, although eternally blessed, he would be punished eternally for forgiven sin, which, God has promised, should “not be remembered.

And a great wonder happens. A life anew.

 
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Posted by on July 7, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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Finally, one day

-Isaiah 65:17-

-“Behold, I will create new heavens and a New Earth.

The former things will not be remembered.”-

After all that I’ve thought about the Christian Life

The battle with disappointment, the inability to accept Jesus’ message of forgiveness, the wrestling with how to listen to God; uncompromising inerrancy, spirit-filled grandiosity….

When finally I lay down broken as success and wealth seem to come to corrupt and selfish people whilst the innocent are seemingly left to poverty and violence…

This. This is what I long to hear

 
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Posted by on February 18, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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One last chance


-Josefa Menendez: The Way of Divine Love-

“Oh soul whom I love, pay no heed to this ruthless enemy … but as soon as possible have recourse to Me, and filled with deepest contrition implore My mercy and have no fear. I will forgive you. Take up again your life of fervour, and you will have back your lost merits, and My grace will never fail you. “

 
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Posted by on April 7, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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Mathematics

-Genesis 18:23-33-

-Then Abraham approached him and said: -“Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked?

What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it?

Far be it from you to do such a thing – to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike.
Far be it from you!

Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”-

The LORD said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”

Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so hold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and she’s, what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city because of five people?

“If I find forty-five there,” he said, “I will not destroy it.”

One again he spoke to him, “What if only forty are found there?”
He said, “For the sake of forty, I will not do it.”

Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What is only thirty can be found there?”
He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”

Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?”
He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.”

Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?”
He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.”

When the LORD had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.”-

It’s a full conversation with a voice.
God.

God talking, is madness, surely?
And yet; God speaks.

I love it.

-Genesis 19:16-

“-When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and if his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the LORD was merciful to them.”-

In my mind Syria and Iraq and the Occupied Territories come to mind; I can see the scene…angels clasping the hands of terrorised humans and leading them to safety in the fog of war.

Furtive.
A daze.

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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Leadership


‘…The entire law is something up in a single command: “Love you neighbors as yourself”. If you keep on boring and detouring each other, watch out our you will be destroyed by each other.’

-Galatians 5; 14-15-

 
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Posted by on January 12, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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The Rat Only Comes When You Don’t Have A Stick To Kill It.

Damned if you do damned if you don’t,
Hell for leather,

Hammer and tongs,
Till death do us part,

Give up the ghost,
Make hay,

Make babies,
Make love,

Not war,

Dress up,
Come down,

Every dog has its place in the sun,
Rage against the dying of the light,

Strike whilst the iron is hot,
Count your chickens before they hatch,

Against the dying of the day;

There are bigger fish to fry,
A stitch in time saves nine.

Eggs in one basket,
Scrambled,
Sunny-Side Up,

Bacon,

When you rattle a snake expect a bite –
Enough.

Pierre et Seydou and
Kaka Sungura,

Bi Kidude,

An apple a day keeps the doctor away,
The early bird catches the worm;

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush
Two peas in a pod,

Let sleeping dogs lie,
Tomorrow never comes.

Diamonds are forever,

For by your words you will be acquitted,
And by you words you will be condemned.

 

 

-short evocative poetry-

For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” – Matthew


 
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Posted by on July 23, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Day Nineteen: Forgiving everyone else!

I’m confused!

The days are blurring!

I think I’m a day ahead….but with that in mind, too bad because I spent the day meditating on this anyway.

Forgiving school mates, colleagues and neighbours.

Yawn. Oooops, tired today.

I didn’t spend time with school mates or colleagues or neighbours.

I did thaw something with my sister…today is my Dad’s anniversary and my brothers birthday so it’s been quiet.

I really don’t have much to say.

I have three more weeks to get to Easter, and then something like two months after, to get through ‘one hundred days of love’.

At this stage I’m asking myself what I got myself into.

But I’m hunkered down – what will come of it, will come.

Today I have forgiveness on my mind. I’m aware of it all the time, in all situations.

The group is beginning to understand that this is it with Jesus so we’ve been going up to him one by one.

Confession.

I’ll rummage about in my closet and see if I can pull out some confessions.

I’d love to be free of the past.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. (Matthew 5:9)

P.S. A capacity for forgiveness may be the single most important attribute for heaven

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day Eighteen – Forgiving authority Pt.2

Thanks Paula for the post yesterday.

It focussed something for me: Forgiveness is the only way to go.

Whether or not it makes sense or it is difficult, when I don’t forgive, life becomes heavy.

I walk around hunched over, the un-forgiveness rules me.

Everything I think and do becomes linked to my choice not to forgive.

Forgiving is easy – and very difficult – both at the same time.

I have to ‘give up’ something to forgive.

I have to ‘give up’ being right and accept that I could be wrong.

I have to give up feeling hurt and victimised.

How would it be if Jesus felt hurt and victimised? Actually, did he feel hurt and victimised?

Forgiveness sets him apart from everyone else.

He was absolute about it. Even when you are wronged, you MUST forgive.

I think about the clash between Karma and Mercy when I meditate with the Brahma Kumaris.

With them, the deal is tough.

What you did yesterday, what you do today and what you will do tomorrow, construct who you are, the kind of life you live, the joys and sorrows you experience. .

It is a noble way because you cannot escape responsibilty for your own life, and responsibility for the state of the earth.

But in my eyes it diminishes the sovereignity of God.

It does not make him cruel, it makes him foreign, and it conditions him to a force that, though he maintains, is un-willing or un-able to interfere with.

It makes him unforgiving.

I took the thought of forgiveness and Authority to bed with me yesterday and I came up with this: Forgiving Authority, respects that authority in your life and allows it to guide you.

The act of submitting to authority, gives you, for the time that you have submitted to it, a chance to live your life free of yourself to some extent.

Are you responsible for what you do under someone else’s authority? Or does that authority become responsible for your actions?

Who is reponsible for the soldier and his actions?

And who has authority?

More questions.

In this war for my life – and i feel it’s a war everyday, to achieve a comfort and happiness that counters fear – can I be fully and wholly accountable for my words and my deeds…every single one of them?

This morning I looked at Jesus, all ragged and smelly, and felt small.

This man asks me to count on him completely.

How far can others count on me?

 

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?… You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.” James 4: 1-2

♦photo – Museum of Contemporary Arts, Chicago♦

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day Eighteen – On forgiving Authority! Pt.1

It’s 1am in the morning and I’ve just read this.

I think I missed a day! Or almost. or something. I’ve been meditating on forgiveness in general today. It’s only now I understand why it wasn’t focussed – I hadn’t read the meditation!

I’ll take it to bed and hope that isn’t cheating.

Wait…what does that mean about tomorrows meditation?! I’ll have to accomplish this meditation in bad, then finish it in the morning, before I read the next one.

I feel as though I’m not spending enough time with the people in question (i.e friends, family, authority…) that I need to, in order to fulfill the days missions.

Ahhhhh….this would be a good day for a post from Paula….I think I wandered off into a cave somewhere and they’ve all moved on!

Authority. I don’t like authority.

I’m already having a problem following these meditations. This lady…Rhonda…it’s like she’s a paragon of contritness.

If I get any tighter I’m gonna suffocate!

Priests have a mighty hard time…catholics especially. It’s all code. Abide by this. Abide by that.

The Nuns at the Brahma Kumaris are the same. They wear white and if you’re not wearing white you soon begin to feel like you should be. The amount of washing….

I pretty much own my time. I like to think that it’s a good thing, but I really, I don’t have the disciplice for work I’m now too old to find it.

Is that a good thing?

I resent authority an yet, when I’m on set, I expect things to go the way I say.

What is authority? Power?

God has authority over my life.

What does THAT mean?

I surrender my decisions to God. Is that because it’s easier?

How much authority over my own life do I have?

How do i exercise it?

Can I choose to die?

This thing with a newer view – I see it coming – where we deciede when we die, and have someone help us do so comfortably..is that wrong?

Is suicide wrong? And whether it is or not, do we have a right to govern that authority over others?

We’re in the desert proper, the shore has disappeared, it’s brown and dusyt all round, horizon un-ending in every direction.

There are few of us remaining and food is not available.

Does this Jesus exercise authority over food?

Can he just create bread, or does life itself submit to the authority of Physics?

What about all the healing?

What about lazarus?

When my boyfriends Nephew died, his sisters church people prayed over the body and demanded that God return life to the boy.

Would I demand the same for my sister? My brother? My father?

When the time comes, would I demand it for my lover?

When I say God has authority over my life, do I have the right to say I asked and did not receive?

My experience is this – I have always had what I’ve needed, when I need it.

I have prayed in the past and received, quite quickly, what I saw was an answer.

I have also prayed and received what I feel to be stone cold silence.

Through it all, I have believed.

Whether or not it makes sense, I have faith and I believe.

Would I still believe in Jail? Under torture?

If it were shown to be, that God was just life in action – no personality to speak of – if everything was just it AS IT IS, and God, just the Generator, Operator and Destroyer of it all – would I have failed myself by living in faith?

I am lost in thought on this one – these questions – about how alive god is in my life, how real he is.

The responsibilty of maintaining my family has gotten so heavy, and I just don’t see how it’s going to work out.

Over Christmas I was ‘told’ that this year I am going to feel the power of my God in my life.

I believe it.

But gracious me…living in faith is a certain kind of madness.

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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