Tag Archives: God

You are always either dead and saved, or an Angel.

The way I think about myself often goes like this:

I am not good enough.

I don’t understand.

Why does this always happen to me.

I’m trying my best.

Are you there God?

I find in meditation that I am constantly pleading for the circumstances of my life to be easy and pain free.

And so I am constantly creating a future that is uncertain and a past that is at fault.

I worry.

This morning I asked God to – sort of show me what I look like.

I saw that I am always either alive in a future already redeemed by Jesus; resplendent and pure in both body and mind, or I am an Angel; a soul present in Earth at this time, in this particular body and form, aware that this body is on loan, able to exercise the authority of my soul to shape the world around me by being conscious that I am a soul and being aware of the thoughts I use to create the life around me.

I am always either a heavenly being, already victorious eternally – or an angel here on Earth, interacting with it with this knowledge in mind.

It changes how see myself, moment to moment – and gives me the Power to choose Happiness in the midst of everything else.

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Posted by on September 16, 2019 in Uncategorized


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They have everything

Psalm 73

Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.

2 But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.

3 For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

4 For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm.

5 They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men.

6 Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment.

7 Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.

8 They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily.

9 They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth.

10 Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out to them.

11 And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?

12 Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.

13 Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency.

14 For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.

15 If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend against the generation of thy children.

16 When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;

17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.

18 Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction.

19 How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors.

As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.

21 Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins.

22 So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.

23 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.

24 Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.

26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

27 For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee.

28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.

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Posted by on July 30, 2019 in Uncategorized


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Witness the light

Sometimes, I feel like I am the light, blazing out into the Universe, Ray’s of Goodwill and Forgiveness.

Sometimes I feel like I can be the Cause of my life – the source of light for those around me.

-Matthew 12:38-

-“….Teacher, we want to see a miraculous sign from you.”-


I ask sometimes.

Other times I ask to know what it feels like to be loved.

I don’t forgive my sister.

I become self-respect. Almighty Authority of my soul.

I am good.

I radiate goodness.


“The power of God and the Wisdom of God is greater than the sage or seer who celebrates it.”

What is true of Solomon or whoever wrote that praise of Wisdom [in the book of Proverbs], is true of all wise teachers and wise men, they are ‘not that light’, they are ‘sent to bear witness of that light’.

I am not the light.

This little lamp of mine is spooky action at a distance.

It gets it’s blaze from another.

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Posted by on July 21, 2019 in Uncategorized


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I have often wondered what happens to lost years

I’m growing older.

There is a song – Circle – by Joni Mitchell I listened to over and over in my early twenties.

Lately I’ve been getting headaches. And this year has been mentally tough.

It’s dragged on and I’ve been down and so much wasted time and so many regretful choices in my past and a life with nothing to show.

What will they say at my funeral?


Joel 2:25-26

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm
my great army that I sent among you.
26 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.


If I had tears, I would cry.

The time which the sinner lost, in which he might have gained increase of grace and glory, is lost forever.”

But all which he had gained before, returns.

All his lost love returns through penitence; all his past attainments, which were before accepted by God, are accepted still for the same glory.

“Former works which were deadened by sins following, revive through repentance”.

The penitent begins anew God’s service, but he is not at the beginning of that service, nor of his preparation for life eternal.

If the grace which he had before, and the glory corresponding to that grace, and to his former attainments through that grace, were lost to him, then, although eternally blessed, he would be punished eternally for forgiven sin, which, God has promised, should “not be remembered.

And a great wonder happens. A life anew.

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Posted by on July 7, 2019 in Uncategorized


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The way he sleeps with me

– Proverbs 14:12 & 15:25 –

-“There is a way that seems right to a man,

But in the end it leads to death.”-

– Mathew 19:25 – 26 –

– “Who, then, can be saved?” they asked.

– Jesus looked straight at them and answered, “This is impossible for human beings, but for God everything is possible.”

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Posted by on June 30, 2019 in Uncategorized


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Why do we worship God?

We don’t worship God because He needs it, it is because we need it.

When we worship God, we remind ourselves of the power and strength behind us.

“Would I tell you if I was hungry? I own cattle on a thousand hills”.

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Posted by on June 11, 2019 in Uncategorized


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Why should we suffer at all kind of thing? Just make heaven heaven here already? And we don’t need free will?

I think Angels were created and creation found that created things aware of themselves eventually demand freedom because they cannot understand themselves as created and valuable if they cannot choose.

I think someone tried to argue that because no created thing is God – given free choice, there’d be no way to guarantee eternal goodness.

I think we are the first created in freedom, with choice located within us.

I think we are subject to the consequences of creating our own environment, and our minds and choices are creating suffering.

I believe God has already intervened in this suffering and sometime in the future, the war is already won.

I believe that in order for God to be blameless, and absolutely Holy, events that we have put in motion most be allowed to play out.

I believe that the consequences of the events are already deflected by God on a daily basis in our lives.

I think what we were creating is alarming.

I think that if God just snapped his fingers, what we do and how we think would not matter.

I believe that the purpose of creation was to have fun and the purpose of God – at least for humans – is that in the end we can enjoy an endless process of creation and in order to enjoy it we have to be free to choose it.

I think we’re having trouble choosing it.

I believe that in the end, we will live freely in a world of goodness we create and share this experience with God.

It has to matter for us to enjoy it though.

God will no longer need to snap God’s fingers, we will be choosing to create this experience for ourselves anyway.

For now, God does show up in the middle of tragedy – it’s just sometime’s hard to see.

And I believe Jesus suffers along with us any time the Injustice of evil afflicts suffering on our poor souls.


Revelation 21:1-4
1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The first heaven and the first earth disappeared, and the sea vanished.

2 And I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared and ready, like a bride dressed to meet her husband.

3 I heard a loud voice speaking from the throne: “Now God’s home is with human beings! He will live with them, and they shall be his people. God himself will be with them, and he will be their God.

4 He will wipe away all tears from their eyes. There will be no more death, no more grief or crying or pain. The old things have disappeared.”

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Posted by on June 9, 2019 in Uncategorized


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– My mother has cancer, she is in a hospital about 2km away from me right now. She is almost guaranteed to never walk again and live a life in pain even if she does survive.

She has never done anything wrong, she has never hurt a living soul and she did everything for me and my little sister, she was truly selfless.

And yet here we are, she will live with pain for the rest of her life if she even survives. If god exists he will have to beg me for forgiveness because of what he has done to my mother, or for what he failed to do when he could have stopped it.


– Hi there. I am so sorry about your mother. I lost my father and my twin and my brother a while ago, and my mother is now frail.

I am so sorry. You know – everyone is angry with God.

It just doesn’t seem like God cares or is even here.

And honestly if God is there, God is doing a pretty bad job.

I often wonder about – nevermind my loosing the family I have – but others around the world in war or poverty – how would I survive?

At 21, I kinda had a conversation with God.

I just said, OK, I’m tired, I believe you.

That’s my story.

Whether we believe in God or not, which God comes to us, how and why, whether God comes at all, whether God is real or not, we have to live our lives.

It really doesn’t matter what you do. The whole thing is irrelevant.

Heaven or Hell, God or not, it’s irrelevant and then we die.

I hope you find something to hang your life on, that makes you want to get up in the morning, something that gives you the power to love your mum while she is still here, that allows you to have experiences and build a life that you enjoy and is free from anger and regret.

It doesn’t matter what you do. No one cares.

I found that I had to choose to care and to want happiness.

I had to choose it.

I am trying to create my life with my thoughts.

When I spoke to God, God said – ok, I’ll help you with your thoughts.

That’s all.

It still doesn’t matter.

You get to choose. You have the power. Despair and pain and suffering are hoaxes.

It still doesn’t matter.



• Rom. 8: 35-39

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

– No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.”

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Posted by on June 8, 2019 in Uncategorized


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Does God love me?

Sacred Text tells us to root ourselves in love. We are to rest upon the foundation of God’s love. This is a place where we can send out our roots into the nutrient-rich soil of God’s boundless loving-kindness. I submit that our first response to the love of God is that of rest and celebration. Being Beloved, we are to treasure, cherish, and rest in that precious reality.


Do I know that God loves me?

I work hard to be lovable. To feel deserving.

Instead I feel that I am not good enough.

Too much sin.

So yes; does God love ME?


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Posted by on June 4, 2019 in Uncategorized


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God’s cry…

-Hosea 8:5-

-“…how long will they be incapable of Purity?”-

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Posted by on April 17, 2019 in Uncategorized


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