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Day Twenty Three; Beautiful Strangers

 

Who are strangers?

I am surrounded by people that i do not know.

I’ve been spending alot of time alone this year – so I feel unqualified for alot of these ‘other people’ meditations.

Today I used the television to look at beautiful strangers.

What I noticed is that not many people are ‘beautiful’ in that magazine way.

In fact, I noticed that very few people look like the people we use to represent us

So what is beautiful?

I hear all the cliches – everyone is beautiful – it comes from inside – life itself beautiful.

I agree with these things – yet what makes people beautiful for me?

What makes me look twice and think about HOW that person looks? And is it important?

I don’t know.

I like hairy, toned men – not too muscular.

They are almost always white. I have increasing questions about this. .

I think I’m ok with it…the thing is, I’m not really interested in how people look.

Honestly.

I am less sure when there is concrete difference involved – blindness, scars etc but this lasts only for the time it takes to know each other.

I’m not sure how to address overt situations like this – I used to be direct, but as I grow older, I recognise that they are human, and like everyone else, they are sometimes consious about how they come across.

I’ll continue to look at people this week – it’s been interesting – eyes, ears, noses, skin, hair, legs, arms….gosh, it’s all so intricate and marvellous.

Tonight spirits are high, voices are loud, there’s singing and dancing and I recognise that there are a lot of different types of people here.

I am giddy.

I feel ok to be myself, to be human.

 

“The alien who resides with you shall be to you as a citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 19:34)

♦photo – cookiesound.com♦

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Posted by on March 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day Twenty One; Asking for forgiveness

Ah. The twist.

Forgiving others is difficult, forgiving myself, more.

Each requires letting go of something.

Forgiving others involves hurt, and aspects of control and revenge.

Forgiving myself includes self esteem and a healthy self.

These all are dependant on myself – whether or not I forgive.

Asking for forgiveness requires humility.

I have to face something I don’t want to, I have to beat down the need to be right.

I have to allow love for others to come before pride.

It’s really difficult.

And it seems to be the most important aspect of forgiving.

Because if I can’t ask for forgiveness, I cannot expect others to ask for mine.

I do not have the right to ‘be forgiving.’

It’s always difficult.

I sometimes wonder if meeting people over the internet is subject to the same rules as meeting people in life.

So Susan, forgive me for anything I may have done wrong.

I think I may not have given you the time that I rightfully should.

I was hurt by your responses, as I’m sure you were by mine and that was never my intention.

So I hope you can forgive me.

“You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5

 
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Posted by on March 16, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day Nineteen: Forgiving everyone else!

I’m confused!

The days are blurring!

I think I’m a day ahead….but with that in mind, too bad because I spent the day meditating on this anyway.

Forgiving school mates, colleagues and neighbours.

Yawn. Oooops, tired today.

I didn’t spend time with school mates or colleagues or neighbours.

I did thaw something with my sister…today is my Dad’s anniversary and my brothers birthday so it’s been quiet.

I really don’t have much to say.

I have three more weeks to get to Easter, and then something like two months after, to get through ‘one hundred days of love’.

At this stage I’m asking myself what I got myself into.

But I’m hunkered down – what will come of it, will come.

Today I have forgiveness on my mind. I’m aware of it all the time, in all situations.

The group is beginning to understand that this is it with Jesus so we’ve been going up to him one by one.

Confession.

I’ll rummage about in my closet and see if I can pull out some confessions.

I’d love to be free of the past.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. (Matthew 5:9)

P.S. A capacity for forgiveness may be the single most important attribute for heaven

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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